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Content

As I stare at this word, my mind stops. What is it and how often do I find myself being content? The truth is not very often. I don’t think I am very much content because I am taught to focus ahead. I am thinking of the past or what is not yet happened or may not happen. I worry. I drown myself in what I’m not doing or what I could be doing. What I should be doing. I don’t allow myself to just be. I don’t live in the moment.
If I could think of one person that was content no matter her circumstance, that would be my gran. We always called her Mammaw. She didn’t have bunches of money, clothes, stuff,etc. She didn’t finish school and got her GED.  She never studied lines and rhymes or iambic pentameter but she wrote beautiful, rich poetry. Her secret?
She lived within the moment and she was content despite what the world told her what was successful.
Mammaw never read Mr. Wordsworth but she and he had things in common in writing poetry.  They both found profound insight and pleasure in observing nature.  If mammaw took me for a walk she would always stopped to listen, to touch, to watch. She passed this on to me. She never was harsh or instructing. Her eyes danced, her voice was soft and full of wonder, awe, excitement, and occasionally concern. The end of the journey was never the point. The journey itself was.
Mammaw wasn’t lazy. She was a multitasker. She believed anything worth having was worth working for. She just had fun and enjoyed herself along the way. A walk wasn’t a walk. It was a magical journey full of possibilities. A feast for the senses.
My happiest memory of her was how she greeted us and waved goodbye at the end of our visit. She always stood on the porch with a huge bright smile on her face and both arms wide open.  She waved goodbye with both hands and a huge smile. It is her signature wave. Mammaw’s wave. My mood always lifts when I think of it.
In a world that judges your success and self worth by how educated you are, how wealthy you are, how ambitious you are, how beautiful you are, it’s refreshing and a bit of a rarity to be content with what you are and who you are.  To just accept the circumstances no matter what they may be and find the beauty within.
I often find myself second guessing my decisions,even in this blog. I have wondered ” shouldn’t I have more profound entries full of good insights and quotes, etc?  Isn’t it tacky to just post little pictures of my cooking and herb garden? Well, after remembering my grans teaching, maybe not.

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