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Divorce party

While at work the other day, a lady was telling me about her daughter recently having a divorce party. A what? Yes, a divorce party. Remember when you had your bachelorette or hen party with your girls? Well, this one is similar,  just celebrating you are single again. 

I had read about this when I was planning my own wedding several years ago as I saw a lot of adverts in UK wedding magazines for hen parties. A few of them also advertised the same for divorce parties. At the time, I just thought it rather inappropriate to have the both parties advertised in a wedding planning mag. I can just imagine some corny but cheeky advert voice saying after advertising the venue, ” we’ll take care of all your hen night needs in prep for big day, but if for some reason your marriage isn’t a go, then we’ll help you plan the perfect night to celebrate you being single. “

The lady’s daughter had an amicable divorce where both parties had mutually agreed that marriage wasn’t for them. It somewhat reminds me of my own circumstances. My former husband and I had calmly sat down and worked everything out and although we sought legal council for information and drafting up the paperwork, we had no issues. It just took so long getting through a deployment, and filing through two different states. I’m happy that we are still friends.

I won’t say that it was all easy and breezy as it was an emotional time for both of us. Divorce is sometimes aptly called the living death. I went through every single stage, to the point that at times I wished I had the kind of closure of a normal death. I don’t wish anything ill on him. Far from it. Still part of the pain is recognizing that you could not save what was supposed to be a promise for life.  I’ve finally moved on now past the grief into fully reclaiming my future and happiness. I am very thankful I have had a few key people along the way. 

I know of some going through the process at this time and theirs isn’t so fortunate to be amicable. It’s the kind where every stage is a battle.  I am so very thankful that I didn’t have to endure that. God blessed me with a kind, thoughtful, and balanced former husband. He has blessed me further with a dear supportive friend, confidant, mentor, and co-conspirator who has seen me through all the stages and a bit over four years on, he’s still here. I thank God everyday for him and for the other friends and loved ones that have helped me through this time. I am finally walking back into the sun.

I didn’t have a divorce party like the other lady did, but I do think it’s time to gather the girls together again and celebrate. We’ve been needing to do that.

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