Years ago as a student in college, I worked as a work study student for the department of geosciences. I got to know a lot of the grad students in the broadcast meteorology program. Actually I ended up dating one, but that’s another story. I used to laugh and puzzle at how they were so enthusiastic about chasing storms. One of them, a dear friend, works for The Weather Channel. I used to want to joke about it, but now I’m my own sort of weather predictor.
You see, I get major flares from changing weather patterns, especially thunderstorms. This is rather unfortunate because I have always loved them. A rainy afternoon or evening normally induces sleep, now it makes my body flare up so much in pain that nothing stops it.
A friend asked me if I would ever move back to Oregon, and sadly I had to answer that I don’t think I could physically withstand 6 months of rain during the year. I would love to go back otherwise.
Every day I am learning new limitations on my body, but I am trying my hardest not to let it stop me from being active and doing what I am called to do. I do however appreciate things more, and yes, lament when things that were so easy are becoming seemingly more difficult and taxing.
The French writer Colette once remarked, ” What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I had realized it sooner! ” There is so much gravity and truth to this. I am just thankful that there is time for me to savor the days to come, and realize that life isn’t in the big moments we chase, but in the small things of a seemingly ordinary day. I savor the fact that every morning, despite being in pain, that God has blessed me with another day. I hope I can be more like women that face immense trials and pain but never let you know it as much on the surface. Who am I to rob someone of their joy of a hug or good mood by shattering with my complaints or hurts.
I’m not saying I can’t or shouldn’t express when I’m in pain, but unless really necessary, I do not want someone to withdraw from sharing a hug. It might hurt, but it’s a small price.
I’m pretty sure I’ll be a weather predictor, or at least the fibro will, but I will still try to savor the soft sound of rain and the awesome beauty found in a thunderstorm.