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fibromyalgia

The days are long, and the years are short

Time has slipped away from me. As my friend Matt said the other night, “The days are long, and the years are short”. I couldn’t help but think he was echoing what Gretchen Rubin said in one of her truths in The Happiness Project. The days are long, but the years are short.
This past month has certainly gotten away from me. The slower lull of a summer schedule has given way to days filled with work, school, homework, reading, projects, planning, and just trying to recoup from a nasty illness. On top of that I’m so tired and worn down from the fatigue of fibro pains that I’ve had no time to hardly rest, let alone test recipes.
I wonder why it is that most of my life I’ve always thought that I have to constantly stay busy. It seems to me that if I’m at rest, I must be guilty of not being productive. My parents probably have a lot to do with this, as they share the same sentiment, but lately I find myself just wanting to chuck it and say forget it. I can’t walk fast enough and my brain gets into such a fog at times that I honestly get confused. It makes doing things a bit more difficult and requires more effort. I mourn at times the loss of agility that I used to have. I really mourn at times that I can not remember things as quickly as I used to ,and more poignantly, that what was so simple is now much more complex than it used to be. I can describe it as standing in the doorway of a well-lit, candlelit room, watching in sadness and horror as I see some of those candles dwindling slowly and a few just snuffing out. It’s heartbreaking and heart wrenching. The physical pain is one thing, I can endure it, but the fog that takes over my brain at times is absolutely the most dreadful and horrific thing to date.

I recently started taking Ginkgo Biloba and I’ve increased some of my multivitamins. I’m doing anything to keep my mind agile. I have trivia apps on brain teasers, brain puzzles, and memory puzzles on my phone. I read constantly. If anyone has any other suggestions, let me know.

The one bright spot is that after this long semester is over, I will have a proper holiday. Proper meaning that I’m getting on a jet plane and leaving the cares behind and enjoying my Christmas holidays in Portland.. It can’t get here fast enough. I just have to get through the next 3 months. 🙂

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Discussion

2 thoughts on “The days are long, and the years are short

  1. My memory can be sporadic on days. Shopping without a shopping list proves to be a nightmare as I can never remember the most important items that I intentionally went to the shops to get. I eat fish to help boost my memory powers 🙂
    I also used to work in a school and around this time term time was always the countdown to Christmas. You just can’t help it!

    Posted by lhgardener1988 | September 25, 2011, 6:57 am
    • Thanks Lucy! It’s part memory and concentration for me. It takes me much much longer to stay on course with my reading even though the concept in class is already known to me. Just frustrating! I’ve gotten a couple of suggestions. I do try to eat fish and seafood. I will be looking forward to some delicious fresh salmon when I return to the Northwest.
      Your adventures sound fun! I’m glad you enjoyed Chicago! One of my friends loves it! I’ve only been once.

      Posted by Kellie | September 25, 2011, 9:12 am

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